Getting Over a Breakup

“When will my ex come back?” That is the number one question asked of psychics. Many people contact psychics absolutely sure that their ex is their soul mate. They know in their hearts that they must have shared past lives, because they can feel it with every bone in their body. It’s not limited to any sort of age group or gender, either. We have had women as young as 13 years old (of course their questions were deleted) and as old as 83 asking about their exes. Males usually have a little different approach. Their first question is normally about career or money, but you can bet the second question will be about the ex. We’ve all felt those feelings, and looking back we can see that they faded over time. But, why do they happen in the first place?

Scientists have discovered that different stimuli in our lives causes our bodies to secrete different chemicals. Melatonin to help us feel sleepy when it gets dark. Serotonin to make us feel satisfied after we eat. And, we don’t want to forget those wonderful endorphins that we get during sex. An endorphin is a neuropeptide (manufactured in the brain), and science has learned that our brains manufacture many different neuropeptides to respond to our emotions. In fact, science has proven that our cells cannot tell the difference between neuropeptides and heroin. So, when you are in love with a person, your brain is constantly manufacturing these “love” neuropeptides every time you are with your lover. After the break-up your brain stops manufacturing the “love juice,” and your body goes through withdrawal. But, not realizing that it is withdrawal, we imagine some kind of spiritual connection that we think we are losing.

Sad Woman Deflated BalloonSometimes that withdrawal can make us really stupid. Some of us have stalked our exes. (I heard a statistic that 1 in 7 women in the US will be stalked — that’s a lot!) Many have maxed out their credit cards calling psychics. Some refuse to let go in their minds and hearts, and the plan for the day when their lover comes back (even if it has been five years). And… some go to the doctor (or the bartender) to get medication to help them through it. Maybe someday we will actually come up with a drug to help get over a broken heart.

But, for the meantime there are things we can do to get through it. My personal favorite is a mantra, “I forgive you, (ex’s name here), and I release you to the Holy Spirit. Because, releasing you, releases me.” Speak the mantra over and over, out loud when you are alone, and silently when around others. Every time your ex comes into your mind, start the mantra… over and over again. In time, you will feel some peace, and it will help to let go of some of the really awful feelings.

Another method that my clients have reported brought them some relief was through meditation. Spend some time relaxing and getting into a comfortable meditative state through breathing, and maybe a little new age music. Take time to ground yourself. Some like to visualize roots growing down from their bodies deep into the ground. When you are comfortable, visualize yourself cutting the cords between you and your ex and sending the cords back to them. You can even attach a flower to each cord before you return it to symbolize unconditional love and detachment. Like the mantra, a single application will probably not work. You will have to meditate many, many times to bring some relief and some peace.

When we lose a loved one due to death, divorce, or a breakup, we all need to go through a process of mourning. We have to mourn the death of the relationship, the loss of so many plans and hopes. And, we must realize that another person cannot fill the empty place where our soul resides. If we can build strong bonds with our higher power, our spiritual Self, our inner knowing, our force (or even THE Force if you want), we will find that we love ourselves.


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9 thoughts on “Getting Over a Breakup

  • empathmomma says:

    Through the years of experience with trial and error relationships, I’ve realized that what ever happens you can’t control what the other person does. You’re only in control of yourself. Misery can’t make the person come back. Sometimes I had beat myself up over break-ups but, as I got older and wiser I realized that I’d been wasting my time reeling my brain over and over again about why. If you do want closure, go to the source…as painful as it may be.
    My ex husband cheated on me for years and then left me for the woman. I asked why, and he told me that he never loved me. That was painful but, it made sense. He was abusive so in a way he saved me from many more years of psychical and mental abuse. Things happen for a reason. My grandmother always had this saying, “What’s to be will be”
    Wise words from a wise woman.
    Live YOUR life, LOVE yourself!!!!

  • I just went through a horrible break up in May of this year . Now I THINK I’m going through another one although this one was only a 8 month relationship and the other was over 6 yrs. I’m emotionally drained and heart broken that all I can do is cry. I’m so depressed and my self esteem is at its lowest. Im lonely so I found this article helpful and I am going to try the suggestions above.
    Thank you all so very much for this site

    • YW, Terri, and thank-you for taking time to leave feedback. I’m so sorry about your bad breakup, and I hope you feel better soon.

  • I’ve been a widow 8 years..i met someone and decided to let him in..of course I fell hard.he came on strong and I fell for it.. however after a few months of talking he decided I wasn’t LOVE material..but we spoke everyday..he really is a nice guy..but one day he stopped speaking and I believe he is with his ex..after a year of talking daily I miss him… thought I was crushed..but through..positive thinking and A LOT of talking to my angels.. I’m good..i realized I’m not really missing much….Blessings to you all

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