Ten Commandments

10 Commandments for Calling Psychics

1. Thou shalt not attend thy best friend’s wedding, and call thy psychic an hour later ask how her new husband feels about you and if he’s your “soul mate”.

2.If thy ex has accused thou of stalking him and/or has a restraining order, thou shalt not call thy psychic and ask when he will call.  Conversely, if thou has a restraining order on thy ex, thou shalt not ask thy psychic when he will call.

3.Thou shalt not email thy psychic 20 times a day to ask if they are SURE they are right

4. Thou shalt not give a phony psychic $6000.00 to remove a curse. If thou does, thou art an idiot.

5. If thy finds a bump, lesion or anything on thy genitals that is NOT supposed to be there, thou shalt NOT call thy psychic to ask why its there. Thou shalt get thy arse to the health department IMMEDIATELY. Thou shalt NOT describe the bump or lesion to thy psychic nor shalt thou ask them to remotely view it to see what they think. EVER.

6. Thou shalt not ask thy psychic why the guy thou hast had 2 dates with did not “invite” thou to his grandma’s funeral

7. Thou shalt not have drunken sex with a long time male friend, then call thy psychic to ask where the “relationship” is going.

8. Thou shalt not spend an hour on the phone at $4 a minute, then ask thy psychic why thou has financial problems.

9. Thou shalt not have 2 online conversations with a complete stranger, then ask thy psychic when he will marry thou.

10. If thy psychic tells thou not to call someone, thou shalt NOT email them 6 times, text message them 15 times, send them a singing telegram and then come back and say “Well, I DID do what you told me. You said not to CALL.”

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